Shonen Stories
by Basser
Summary: Conan, Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, Genta, and Ai. The Detective Boys.
1. Go go Kamen Yaiba!

_Ah, so here I am posting silliness again. I suppose I just need to accept that I cannot do much else. xD Anyway, I've started on a series of snapshots of moments with the Shonen Tantei, more commonly known as the Detective Boys! Hurray! xD I personally find them adorable, and think they need a lot more fanservice. Thus, drabbles. __Hoo-rah.  
_

* * *

**-File 1-  
"Go Go Kamen Yaiba!"  
_In which children watch some television._  
**

"_You will never win, evil Garubon! Your dastardly doings shall be stopped here!" The voice of the magnificent hero, Kamen Yaiba, echoed over the city. A hideous monster guffawed back at him._

"_You are wrong, Yaiba! It is I who will be the victor! Prepare yourself!" And with a loud, rumbling roar, he leapt at the lithe figure hovering above the rooftops. Yaiba dodged the monster's slash, and sent a kick his way._

_POW! Garubon was hit! But one blow, even from the amazing Kamen Yaiba, could not take down such a foe so easily._

_SMASH! No! Yaiba had been caught in that sideswipe from Garubon's tail! The masked superhero lay still for a moment, caught up in the rubble of a huge office building's wall. Just as Garubon made to celebrate his victory, though, Kamen Yaiba broke free!_

_CRASH! Bits of concrete and girder flew everywhere, unable to resist the might of Yaiba's super strength! Garubon had just enough time to turn before-_

_SLAM! He was hit once more by Yaiba's mighty kick! And even as he staggered back, Yaiba prepared another blow.. But, what was that? A figure sped by like a bullet, causing both Yaiba and his foe to turn. Could that be… No! The wicked sorcerer Mahoba!_

_Yaiba's mask shows just enough of his expression to show his surprise. Mahoba was surely defeated! But it is him, the same magician defeated by Yaiba in season 1. How had he returned? Who would be able to stop him this time? Mahoba cackles evilly, and raises a hand crackling with energy-_

"_You cannot stop me this time, Kamen Yaiba!"_

_TO BE CONTINUED ON THE NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE!_

_Don't miss it! "Mahoba's explosion!"_

The screen clicked to display credits, and an overtly perky theme song began playing to scenes of familiar battle action. Conan yawned widely.

"Woooow! Kamen Yaiba is SO cool! I can't believe he almost took out Garubon with _one hit_!" Ayumi squealed, energy pent up over a whole half-hour of sitting in awe suddenly bursting in a torrent. She bounced up and down in her seat, grinning in wild glee. Action show never failed to have that effect on her.

"I know! Oh man! When Garubon was all 'Argh I will kill you!' and that lady was like 'noooo!' and then that guy was like 'oh my god!' and then Yaiba's like 'I'll save you!' and then he- oh man it was so awesome!" Genta yelled enthusiastically. He, too, had started bouncing, but was finding it slightly more difficult than Ayumi was, seated as he was by Mitsuhiko on the floor. The smaller boy was doing a good job of reigning in his physical energy, but the same amount of glee and delight showed clear as day through the huge grin plastered on his face.

"I believe that Mahoba will stand no chance against Yaiba in the next episode!" He firmly announced, treating the subject as if he had just made a major scientific breakthrough. Conan sighed. '_Of course he won't, you idiot. This is children's TV.'_ He leaned back in his chair, preparing himself for the kids' weekly ritual of completely re-hashing the episode they'd just seen. Honestly, where was Haibara when you needed her? At least she could provide him with _some_ measure of sanity in this little group.

"Conan-kun!" Ayumi suddenly squealed, throwing her arms around him. Somehow or other she had managed to squeeze herself in beside Conan in the swivelling office chair of Mouri's office, (which, along with the TV, the group had conveniently borrowed in Kogoro's absence.) Conan had been too lazy to object, deciding that A. he had been the first to sit in it, thereby making it 'his' chair in the first place and; B. he really didn't care.

Unfortunately this plan of inaction had backfired entirely. Ayumi had spent the entire episode either clutching him in terror, or bouncing so much as to make his glasses fall off. Not to mention the twin glares of death he received regularly from Genta and Mitsuhiko. They had probably been prepared to fight to the death over who got to sit next to Ayumi-chan today. Pity he'd gone and chosen the one seat they couldn't really fight him for. (It was 'his' house, after all. First-grader logic thus dictates the right to all chairs._ Especially_ the swivelly kind.)

"Ack- Ayumi-chan!" Conan wheezed, trying in vain to free himself from the deadly first-grader's hug. She really didn't seem to have much of a grasp yet on the concept of _airways_ and their direct correlation to _breathing._ "Get off! You're suffocating me!"

"What? Oh! Sorry, Conan-kun!" She released him, looking embarrassed and ridiculously worried over the safety of her _dear_ Conan-kun. Genta and Mitsuhiko glared daggers at him for upsetting her. Or, more likely, for being hugged by her. Whatever the cause, it was sure to cause grief for the smaller Conan later on. God, how he hated the first-grader jealousy system! He tried a nervous grin at them and was rewarded by even darker stares.

"Anyway, Conan-kun..!" Ayumi started again, all perkiness restored. Genta and Mitsuhiko paused in their staring attack to listen in too. Ayumi-chan's word was law, after all. "Whad'you think? Is Yaiba gonna be defeated by Mahoba? Ohhhh I hope he doesn't! Who would kill all the monsters then? They're all so scary! What- What if they ate the school?" She looked near tears at the mere thought. Conan resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Ayumi, always getting worked up over the silliest things…

"Nah. Yaiba'll win. He always wins!" He smiled confidently, and watched faces light up all around him.

"Hurray! Go Yaiba!" The Shonen Tantei cheered in unison. Conan allowed himself a grin. Kids were so easy to please sometimes.

* * *

_... I miss first grade. :)_  



	2. There's a reason Conan hates school

_Slightly older this time. FYI: any stories set beyond the first- or second-grade level will be operating under the assumption that Ai, for whatever reason, could not make the antidote, and thus she and Conan are stuck growing up all over again. (Read 'Let Go' by Icka M. Chif for a good explanation for this, or 'Over the Years' by Enula… Maybe. :P)_

* * *

**-File 2-  
"There's a Reason Conan Hates School."  
_In which a teacher attempts some discipline._  
**

"Alright, now we need two volunteers to help us solve these equations… Who wants to try the first one?"

Instantly hands shot up in the air, some held up limply by tired students just wanting to get the lesson over with, and some –like Mitsuhiko and Ayumi's- waving around eagerly in anticipation of solving one of the difficult algebra equations written on the whiteboard. Miss Yamado, the current fourth-grade math teacher, made a great show of looking over each student carefully and thoughtfully before moving on to the next. The extra consideration helped children to feel that they were an important part of the class, and encouraged participation. She'd read that somewhere.

Of course, she already knew which student she would call. She called him to the board practically every day on some ridiculously complicated equation or table. And, same as every day, the boy in question was currently sitting in the back row, head in arms, sleeping the hour away. Ohh, how she would love to get him at least _once_! It never ceased to irritate her how he could have the gall to _sleep_ right through her class –_every_ _single day-_ and still get an A! An _A!_ On every assignment! Was he just pretending to not pay attention? Some ridiculous ploy to irritate her? Well, it was certainly working!

She had thought at first (like every other teacher) that he was merely intelligent. Soon, tough, –as the weeks and months went by- she quickly realised that _no_ nine year-old could possibly know _that_ much about math, and know it _that_ well.. He must be doing it to spite her! That was the only answer! Well, she would certainly show _him!_ She would get him on _something_, damnit!

And thus she had spent the better part of the school year studying up on math she hadn't touched since college, determined to find at least _one_ problem that could make Edogawa Conan squirm. She felt she'd outdone herself today. A basic equation, sure, but with some new elements and forms that she was certain even the average _ninth-grader_ would have been ignorant of. Certainly no match for a mere fourth-grade student!

"Hmmm…" She brought one hand to her mouth in mock concentration, and, appearing to have made a decision, pointed out a student with her whiteboard marker. "How about, Yoshida-chan." Ayumi bounced up like an eager kitten, bounding to the board and picking up a marker. She absolutely _loved_ these types of things! "And.. Edogawa-kun…!" No answer. The class turned in their seats to find the familiar sight of Conan sleeping peacefully at his desk. Several girls giggled. "Edogawa Conan! Wake up this instant!"

Haibara Ai was used to her role now, and didn't even need look up from her 'notes' (actually an amusing study of the properties of antimatter) to land Conan a good elbow in the ribs. He raised his head just enough to glare at her, grumbling something about not volunteering, and why couldn't people just let him sleep…? Miss Yamado was furious again. Honestly! How one child could get away with showing so much disrespect was beyond her! It must have had something to do with his upbringing in America… She'd heard about the abysmal manners of some of the children over there. Spoiled rotten, the lot of them!

"Edo_gawa_! I want you up here and solving this problem NOW." She said, throwing on her sternest teacher-voice. Edogawa raised his head a bit more and grumbled a little, but obediently straightened his glasses and made his way to the front of the classroom. Several students were giggling by this time. Good, let them laugh. The ridicule of a student's classmates was a much more potent punishment than any the teacher could give. She'd read that somewhere, too.

"Which one?" He mumbled irritably. Ayumi attempted to console him with a sympathetic look, which he took no notice of. She was a sweet girl, even if she _was_ friends with rude little boys like Edogawa.

"Equation two please, Edogawa. And quickly! You've already wasted enough of the class's time!"

At the mention of wasting time, Ayumi jumped straight to her problem. Conan, predictably, took his sweet time to turn around, stare blankly at the problem, and sigh. He looked like he'd rather be _anywhere_ else.

After a few seconds, he was still staring at the board. '_Aha!' _Miss Yamado thought gleefully, _'I finally got him! He has no idea how to solve-!'_

-_it?__ Ah, dammit!'_ Her triumphant expression fell quickly into its usual scowl. Apparently the number-one problem student slash star pupil had already broken down the problem, calculated the answer, and was just now getting around to the process of writing it all out. He picked up a pen and began to write, looking for all the world like this was the simplest, dullest equation he had ever solved. Ayumi, on the other hand, was still valiantly struggling with the finer points of long division.

With a deeper scowl than ever, Miss Yamado quipped out "That will do, Edogawa. We do not need to know the number to its third decimal. You may return to your seat."

The boy literally dropped his pen into its holder, yawned widely, and plodded slowly back to his seat. And after that amazing feat of fourth-grade intelligence, he didn't even look smug! It was simply _infuriating!_ It had taken her the entire _weekend_ to come up with that problem!

Well, obviously she would have to try harder next time. Maybe something on a high school level? Would that confuse the rest of the class too much? Ah, but now Ayumi was having trouble with her variables… Miss Yamado quickly dropped her scowl and turned back to the board, beginning once again the lengthy process she was paid for: helping _normal_ students through their math.

* * *

_Miss Yamado has a serious complex. _

_Did you know that many teachers don't know any more about their subjects than their students do? A lot of them (especially math) are only a chapter or two ahead of the class at any given time. Sad._


	3. Balance

_So this is reeeally late, but I figure I've got a good excuse. Went on an exchange trip to Tokyo, just got home yesterday. Ohoho. Jealous? Yeah. But don't get too excited. I had to got to school there. And it was like a hundred degrees every day. Blah. xP But anyway, bought me a ton of anime crap, had fun watching Naruto and Detective Conan on TV, and completely revealed myself as the whitest of white kids there ever was. Hoo-rah._

_Aand as a present, here's a fic for you._

_Enjoy. ;)_

* * *

**-File 3-  
"Balance"  
_In which Conan finds out exaclty why children are annoying._  
**

Genta lay sprawled on the floor of the train, facedown on the hard linoleum. Thank god for the near-emptiness of the compartment, or he would've most likely crushed a few innocent bystanders. This was the reason they had signs all over the train telling people not to jump around, now wasn't it? Conan sighed. Kids never learned.

"Baro." Conan muttered, leaning to the side as the train started up again. In his past life he'd been all over Tokyo on the city transit. Enough to make balancing on the fast-moving railway almost second nature. Needless to say this skill annoyed Genta to no end. Enough to make the larger boy do very stupid things in feeble attempt to prove himself, like attempting to jump Mitsuhiko while the train stopped. Which had landed him in his current predicament. Sad, really. "Can't just jump around like a maniac and expect to stay upright, you know."

"Conan-kun's right, Genta-kun.." Ayumi said consolingly, helping her fallen friend up. "You have to be careful on the train, otherwise- Ack!" Her sentence was cut off as the train rounded a corner, sending both of them stumbling for balance. Mitsuhiko had managed to grab hold of a nearby pole around the time that Genta had attempted to playfully crush him, and grinned down at the two of them.

"You guys can't stay up at all!" He giggled. The train jiggled a bit and his smile disappeared in favour of grabbing onto his pole for dear life. Mitsuhiko never was one of the coordinated ones. Genta harrumphed, Ayumi smiled sheepishly, and Conan –of course- swayed slightly to the right and yawned. Honestly, balancing wasn't that hard. He was surprised they hadn't got it by now.

"Waa! Conan-kun! You haven't fallen at all yet, have you?" Ayumi suddenly noticed, suddenly entranced by this new skill of the already over-talented Conan. Mitsuhiko joined in the awe, with Genta grumbling haughtily that the smaller boy must be cheating or something. Conan sighed, somewhere between exasperated and bemused. They really didn't get it, did they?

"How do you do it, Conan? Is it magic? Ooh! You're like that superhero with the magnets in his feet, aren't you? It must be a new invention of the Professor's!" Mitsuhiko exclaimed, nearly letting go of his pole in excitement. Conan deadpanned. It was true, little kids had absolutely no logical brain functions in those tiny little noggins of theirs.

"You can't be serious."

"Ohh no fair, Conan-kun! Just tell us how you do it! If the professor made an invention to keep us from falling down we should all have it, not just you! That's no fair!" Ayumi said earnestly. She was now holding on to Genta for support, who was in turn barely able to reach one of the lower handholds meant for the disabled. It was an interesting sight.

"Jeez.. These kids really have no clue, do they?" Conan muttered to himself. A lady in the seat close to him stared a second, but decided she must be hearing things. He gave one last cursory glance for open seats –a perfect excuse to offer the kids a distraction in favour of showing them how to stay upright- but there were none. He would just have to teach them. God, what a long day. He sighed, but quickly straightened up and put on his 'I'm-teaching-you-something-so-you'd-better-listen' face. All the kids stared at him expectantly.

"Okay, look. All you have to do is lean the opposite direction the train's going. It's not that hard. If we're stopping, your momentum will try to push you forward, so you should lean backwards to compensate. If we're starting, your body won't be able to catch up with how fast the train's accelerating unless you help it a bit, so lean forward. Turns are easy if you know they're coming, so watch the cars in front to see which way to go. So which way to you lean if we're turning right?" At their blank stares, he removed a hand from his pocket and pointed in the proper direction.

"Ah! Left! Oh, I get it!" Ayumi squealed. Conan smiled. Tiring as it was, it could be sort of fun to teach them new things every once in awhile.

"Oh! Oh! Me too!" Genta yelled. Other occupants of the car were chuckling now. Genta's excitement did tend to have that affect on people. "But, Conan-kun… What he heck does 'momentum' mean?" He muttered, looking slightly irritated that Conan would use such a word in his presence. A lady to his right laughed openly.

"Your little friend has quite a vocabulary, eh?" She giggled, a definite American accent lacing her Japanese. "Don't get too ahead of yourself, eh, kiddo?" She patted Conan on the head. A few junior high girls giggled and started exclaiming how cute he was. Conan's eye twitched slightly. Annoying little..

"Hey hey, I've got an idea!" Mitsuhiko announced suddenly, "Now we all know how to do it, let's practice with a contest! Winner gets the next seat!"

"Alright!" Genta yelled. He quickly let go of his handhold and jumped into place beside Conan. "I'm not gonna lose to you now, Conan! Prepare to be defeated!"

"Ha ha…" Conan muttered. Maybe he should just pretend to fall on his ass now, and get them to leave him alone. But, then… He really wanted a seat. "Alright, fine. Don't start crying when you lose, Genta."

"As if!" The boy yelled. He took a mocking stance, just to prove his might, but stumbled as the train rounded its next corner. "Augh- Eck! That was just a practice fall! To- to show you how you'll look! Yeah! Loser!"

"Right…" People all around them were chuckling, now. What luck, they'd landed a little amusement on the otherwise interminably dull ride home.

"I wanna play too!" Ayumi squealed, eager to prove herself to her friends. It wasn't like only boys could do these things! And, besides, it would be kind of fun if she could beat Conan-kun and Genta.. Maybe Conan-kun would be so impressed, he'd hug her! The thought was enough to send her into a fit of embarrassment. Conan blinked as she giggled in his direction.

"Are you okay, Ayumi..? Your face is red."

"Wha?" She clutched her suddenly burning cheeks, "I- I'm fine! But you're gonna lose, Conan-kun! And Genta-kun too! Ayumi-chan can do anything you can!" The redness was gone as she took her place confidently alongside Genta. The train came to a stop for the next station, and Mitsuhiko let go of his safety bar to complete their little line. The end of the compartment allowed enough room for four such small children to stand comfortably side-to-side. The lady that had patted Conan's head earlier laughed good-naturedly.

"I'll be the judge!" She announced. She was sitting right at the end seat, and so had the best view. Various other occupants of the train were smiling and chuckling at them. "Anyone who falls or stumbles is out! The last one standing can have my seat, okay?"

"Yeah!" All the kids cheered in unison. Conan preferred to keep hid hands in his pockets and yawn.

And it was on. Business people, high schoolers, random adults.. Everyone in the compartment watched bemusedly this new little spectacle. Four kids standing in a line, three with expressions of intense concentration, one looking as if he'd done this a million times and wanted nothing more than to get the silly thing done. (Which was true, anyway. Though most people pinned him as over-confident and smug rather than mind-numbingly bored.)

As the line neared its first bend, Ayumi leaned over with such enthusiasm that she actually managed to make herself trip. Mitsuhiko, ever the gentleman, helped her to her feet and so found himself tripping over to land right down on the floor with her. Well, that was two out. All eyes moved to the remaining pair. Conan swaying slightly, obviously trying not to yawn too openly, and Genta failing around, somehow managing to keep his feet glued to the floor despite the laws of physics.. Ayumi and Mitsuhiko scrambled out of the way. It was down to the championship!

The train righted himself again, and Genta pinwheeled backwards, nearly braining Conan in the process. The smaller boy ducked slightly and grumbled something about just losing already and giving him his seat. It looked as if the match might be over, but somehow the flailing Genta managed to get back straight, and after a few seconds' stabilizing, grinned confidently in Conan's direction.

"Ha! See? I told you I could do it! You're totally gonna los- Waugh!" The rail curved again, and Genta, predictably, went flying. He crash-landed on top of his competitor, sending both boys tumbling down in a heap. Genta yelling and spouting various grade-school obscenities, and Conan getting nothing more than an awkward sort of squawk before being fair crushed by the larger boy's weight.

"Ahaha! Looks like you both lose!" A high school boy yelled. He and his friends were laughing hysterically, a few younger girls smiling into their handkerchiefs. Most of the older people were chuckling openly. There was just something about seeing a smug little kid be flattened under his giant friend..

Their judge held in her laughter just long enough to give them all congratulations, her promise of a seat lost in the gaiety of the moment. Conan glowered as he pulled himself out from under Genta's stomach. So much for a fair fight.

"Goddamn it, Genta.. Get your leg off my arm." He managed to wrench himself free of a rather stunned and sheepish-looking Genta. Who luckily wasn't paying enough attention to catch his curse.

"Conan-kun! Genta-kun! Are you okay?" Ayumi squealed. She looked genuinely concerned. Mitsuhiko, on the other hand, was trying valiantly to reign in his snickering and keep a serious face. He was failing rather badly.

Genta suddenly seemed to come to his senses. "Hey! I won! YES!" He jumped to his feet and pointed to a very irritated-looking Conan. "We both lost! That means I won!"

"What the- No, you didn't! You just fell on me! That's no fair!" Conan said indignantly. It was no use, though. Genta's head was far too thick for such reasoning. He sighed as the self-proclaimed 'leader' of the Shonen Tantei began to celebrate his victory. Friggin' hard-headed..

"Hey, kids, we're getting off here. You can have all our seats, no hard feelings, okay?" Their judge stood along with a few distinctly American-looking friends. The train slowed to a stop and they all got off, laughing and talking to each other in English. Balancing competitions on the subway weren't something you got to see just every day, after all. The kids cheered and scrambled for the seats.

"Hurray, we all win!" Ayumi threw her hands up in the air as soon as she'd made it up to the worn fabric. Genta and Mitsuhiko followed, grinning madly. The rest of the train slowly began to resume its normal atmosphere, though many people congratulated the children and began recounting their antics to friends. Ah, the power of children, to light up the ride of an entire train!

Conan, lost in the sea of childish anonymity, frowned at a bruise on his arm, and reluctantly pulled himself up to sit next to Genta. A seat was a seat, after all. Even if he did have to share it with a very irritatingly smug little boy. Conan glowered. Honestly, the kid looked entirely too pleased with himself.

"You still lost, you know." He grumbled. Genta grinned down at him.

"Nuh-uh! I got the seat, that means I win!" He proclaimed, proudly bouncing up and down to prove his point. "Besides, it's your fault you're so small to get squished by me!" Conan blinked, glared, made to open his mouth in protest, and then sighed. At this point, it really wasn't worth it. He settled back in his seat and listened to the sounds of kids celebrating. It was actually pretty adorable, being so proud of themselves over a simple contest.

Of course, he would never admit that. Conan closed his eyes and yawned. _Well, at least I still got my nap._ He thought lazily, and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

(1) **Ba-ro**_ is a form of ' baka__.' Means stupid. According to some file somewhere, it's Shinichi's favourite phrase. (Haha. What a jackass.)_

_Sorry about any OOC-ness. Just wanted to write something and get it up. This is actually kind of a true story. My host student's friends and I had a balancing contest on the way to harajuku, (a LONG-ASS train ride from our house. Like fifteen stops.) Nobody really payed this much attention to us but I thought it would be more amusing with a bunch of elementary kids. Again sorry for the long wait! I've got tons more ideas after Tokyo, though, so we should be picking up speed. omg, kids are just so cute over there! xD_

_Next chapter: Ai! I really need to write more of her. Especially since people keep asking for her. Sorry, guys. Oh, and I'll make sure to make Conan stop being so annoyed all the time. I guess my feelings about children are just seeping into the writing. Bah.  
_

_**NEXT FILE-  
'Hats'  
**  
_


	4. Hats

_Hey there, I finally updated! Well, this one isn't too interesting, but I got so caught up in it that I split it into two chapters. Aren't you excited? Anyway, here we deal with little yellow hats. I saw a lot of kids wearing them in Tokyo, they're really adorable. (Although if I was a kid I would probably hate it. Haha.) I dimly recall somebody telling me that they wore them so that cars wouldn't hit them when they crossed the street. I'm not sure if that's right but hey. I think you can deal._

_

* * *

_

**-File 5-**  
"**Hats."  
_In which children wear adorable headgear._**

"Jeez, these things are so stupid…" Genta muttered, pulling on the hem of the yellow atrocity perched upon his head. Mitsuhiko and Conan, each adorned in similar headgear, grumbled their agreement. Ai merely yawned.

"Stop complaining!" Ayumi said indignantly, tweaking her own hat to the side and peering into a passing window for her reflection. She smiled at herself. "I think they're cute! And they're to help us when we're crossing the street. You don't want to get run over do you?"

"I… Guess not." Mitsuhiko muttered, trying not to upset her. He looked up at the bit of yellow poking into his field of vision and sighed. Children's traffic hats really were stupid. "But you'd think they could find a less embarrassing way of protecting us.."

"Protecting us!" Genta yelled, resisting the urge to rip off his hat as they were fast approaching the schoolyard. "I'd rather be run over than wear this stupid thing!"

"I agree." Conan grumbled. "I thought I'd gotten out of wearing this with a non-uniform elementary school."

"Even without uniforms they want to keep us safe! Sheesh, you guys complain too much!" Ayumi chided, hands on her hips in a childish imitation of her mother. Ai smiled.

"I like them." She said pleasantly. Ayumi grinned and clapped her hands.

"See? Ai-chan likes it! You guys should too!"

Conan, Mitsuhiko, and Genta stared at Ai

"You… like them?" Conan asked in wonder, "Wow, Haibara. I wouldn't have expected you of all people would enjoy looking like a- Er.." He stopped short. Something about the end of that comment just seemed too ironic to voice. Haibara, of course, smirked.

"Looking like a what, Edogawa-kun? A child? A 'little kid'? I think somebody's forgetting something about themselves." She taunted, smiling quite smugly to herself at the expression on the smaller boy's face. "Besides… Don't these remind you of when you were younger? I find it quite nostalgic."

Ayumi blinked and was about to inquire as to the perplexing word choice of her friend, but was cut off by a rather irritated-looking Conan.

"_No_, they don't remind me of when I was younger, because -if you remember-, _I_ went to a certain school which until _recently_ had no dress code requiring the wearing of ridiculous hats while crossing streets."

"Hm? Oh, yes. I'd quite forgotten. Well, now look what you get to catch up on. Aren't you the lucky one?" She smiled and pulled the hat down to cover the amusement in her eyes. Conan glared indignantly at her.

"I hope that hat kills you." He grumbled. He had drifted up next to Haibara as they entered the school, and the two had subconsciously started walking faster in order to put distance between them and their younger friends. Now they stood in front of their cubbies, taking off their shoes a little ahead of the rest of the group and a comfortable distance from any teachers who might have been confused by their vocabularies. One nice thing about elementary school: little kids didn't seem to pay much attention to anything that didn't directly involve them. Least of all the not-so-childish conversation of some weird American kids.

"I should hope it doesn't, seeing as my death would put you in a bit of a predicament." Haibara retorted, putting her shoes into her cubby hole and deliberately doing nothing about her hat. For some reason she was feeling particularly playful today. And Kudo-kun was falling right into her every tease… She watched him shove his own headwear unceremoniously into the cubby along with his other unnecessary belongings.

"Yeah, well... Don't go wandering around any dark alleys at night."

"Dark alleys? What, is the hat going to jump me? Honestly, Edogawa, I should think you'd be able to do better than that. With all the murder cases you've been to at least one must have involved some sort of lethal head adornments."

"Alright fine… Don't go… Touching the hat and then licking chocolate powder off your fingers. Better?"

"Come now, I know exactly where you got that one. You'll have to be more creative."

"Hey, I'm a detective not a murderer!"

"I'm sure with a bit of work we could turn that around."

"Haibara-!"

The two continued their bickering as they moved off down the hall, quite forgetting their three 'normal' friends still standing in the cubby room. The children stared after them in something like awe. Their friends were odd, of course, and entirely too mature, but they hadn't expected a conversation of such mystifying intelligence to come of something so small as the traffic-safety hats issued by the school. Ayumi quietly pulled hers off as she continued to stare at the retreating (and still arguing) backs of Conan and Ai.

"Conan-kun and Ai-chan are really smart, aren't they?" She muttered to her friends. The two boys nodded silently. After a second's staring, Genta's face suddenly twisted into a familiar expression of confusion.

"… What the heck does 'nostalgic' mean?" He asked. Given the situation it was amazing he had remembered the word from that far back in the conversation. Ayumi blinked at him.

"Nostalgic? Uhm… I think it means something like… Like thinking about things that happened a long time ago." Mitsuhiko said, recalling the definition from a book he'd borrowed from his sister. "I'm not sure but it's definitely got to do with remembering. My sister said so."

"Remembering…?" Ayumi tilted her head to the side. "But Ai-chan said that her hat made her feel nostalgic… So what's she remembering about?"

"Maybe her old school in America?" Mitsuhiko ventured. Realising he didn't have much time left before the bell rang, he quickly slipped his shoes off and turned to his cubby to switch them for his school slippers.

"Ew, they wear stupid hats like these in America too?" Genta glowered at the object in question and roughly shoved it into his cubby hole. He'd been so proud to go to a school that didn't require them… Stupid teachers and their dumb traffic safety!

"I guess they must." Mitsuhiko shrugged. "Haibara-san must have liked them, then." The thought made him blush slightly. Haibara liked hats…? When was her birthday, again?

"Well if Ai-chan likes them, then I like them even more!" Ayumi giggled. She folded hers neatly and placed it alongside her shoes, then quickly slipped into her slippers. "Come on, let's go to class! Maybe we can get her to tell us more about her old school!"

"If she went to a school with stupid hats like ours, then I'd rather hear about Conan's school." Genta muttered darkly. Clearly the subject wasn't one he'd be willing to drop anytime soon.

"Then we'll ask both of them about it!" Ayumi chirped, dragging her friends down the hallway. Mitsuhiko agreed loudly, thinking of nothing but finding out more about his crush Haibara. Genta grumbled something about stupid American hats and followed, nonetheless excited to ask about a country he'd never been to. Why hadn't they asked about this earlier, anyway…?

_

* * *

_

_Yeah I know that ended in a bad place. The next chapter continues it. And Ai is quickly becoming my favourite character to write. Hopefully expect more of her.  
_


	5. Eigo

_Okay, so this is the continuation of the 'Hats' thing. Personally I hate my writing style so I'm not even going to comment about how I felt reading both of these over. But I will say that both the thing about hats and the subject of Conan and Ai's skills regarding English are things I find quite interesting… So I wrote about them. I'm so sad._

_Just to clarify: Italics means they're speaking in English. Though if you couldn't pick that up on your own I'll just have to assume that the human race is, indeed, doomed._

_

* * *

_

**-File 5-  
Eigo ("英語")**  
**_In which we learn about foreign languages._**

"… You want us to tell you about our old schools?" Conan said, looking vaguely surprised. It was lunchtime and the five members of the Shonen Tantei had gathered themselves around Conan and Ai's desk to eat.

"Yeah! We heard Ai-chan saying that the new traffic hats made her feel 'nostalgic', and Mitsuhiko-kun said that he knew that meant remembering things from a long time ago, so we knew that Ai-chan must have gone to a school that had hats just like ours!" Ayumi beamed proudly, her two friends grinning equally widely on either side of her. Since talking about it in the hallway the thought had occurred to them that figuring out exactly what Ai had been talking about was (in a way) detective work, and the realisation had boosted their egos to a point of near-bursting.

"As expected from the Shonen Tantei…" Conan muttered, laughing nervously. A league of future super-detectives… What the hell had he created?

"I'm surprised you knew that, Tsuburaya-kun. Good job." Ai said, looking up from her rice. Mitsuhiko turned bright red and hid his face, stammering about it being 'nothing, nothing at all!' Ai carefully placed her chopsticks in their carrier and steepled her fingers in thought. "Hmm… My school. Well, we had about the same teachers, but a few less students. And we wore uniforms, though a bit different from the ones here."

"How were they different?" Ayumi asked. She seemed positively glowing to be getting some history out of Ai-chan after all this time.

"Well… They were more formal, I suppose. And warmer, since it was cold there." (1) Ai shrugged and picked up her chopsticks. "But, aside from that, they weren't much different from Japanese ones. All schools are fundamentally the same, anyway."

The kids muttered a collective "Oh." as she went back to eating her rice. Since she didn't seem to be offering much more on the subject, Ayumi turned to Conan.

"And Conan-kun?"

"Ah! Oh.. Uh… I… Guess mine was pretty much the same as here…" He stammered. The complete irony of being asked to describe attending a school he was currently sitting in was a bit too much at the moment. He wisely avoided further conversation by stuffing his mouth full of tuna. Ai smirked from behind a bite of rice.

"American schools are like Japanese ones. It's not really very interesting to talk about." Ai said, uncharacteristically coming to the rescue. Conan looked relieved, making a mental note to repay her later. Son of the great actor Yukiko he may have been, but Shinichi had never really been one for making up stories. Apparently he had failed to inherit those genes from his novelist father.

"Well that's boring!" Genta exclaimed. "Geez, and here I thought we were on to something cool…"

"We got to hear about Ai-chan's uniform, that's good right?" Ayumi smiled. Though from her expression it was plain that she was a bit disappointed as well.

"Hey… There's something I've always been wondering." Mitsuhiko spoke up, saving the Shonen Tantei from becoming mired in their own unsatisfied curiosity. "You two know English, right? Why don't you guys ever speak it to each other?"

Conan blinked. It was true, both he and Ai spoke English fluently. But he'd never really thought about speaking to her in the language before. Though now that he considered it, a lot of their conversations could go far more smoothly and with a lot less staring under the guise of two foreign students conversing…

"I guess we've just never had to." He shrugged, and turned a sidelong glance at Ai. She looked up momentarily to the curious faces of their little group, then turned to Conan with a sigh.

"_Hello Conan, how has your day been?_" She said in a monotone. Her English was accented, probably from her upbringing in England. Mitsuhiko and the others gaped openly at the simple sentence.

"_Uh… Just great, I guess._" Conan replied. The long-unused language felt odd in his mouth… He was probably getting rusty.

"_Excellent._" Ai replied, and turned back to her meal. The Shonen Tantei were positively gawking at them now. Conan deadpanned. Honestly, why were they always so amazed by these things?

"Woooow! It's true! You really _can_ speak English!" Ayumi squealed.

"Did you think we couldn't?" Conan asked exasperatedly. For goodness sake, they'd been on cases where they'd had to translate and understand English before! Hadn't that been proof enough?

"Well you just never seemed like you really could." Mitsuhiko said.

"Yeah we thought maybe you'd forgot!" Genta chimed in. Conan glared. Forgotten English! He'd grown up with the language!

"I didn't forget it." He said indignantly.

"Well you've been speaking Japanese ever since we met you. Except for English class it's like you don't know anything!" Genta taunted.

Conan glared at him and turned to Ai. "_Hey, Haibara. Maybe we should just speak in English for the rest of the day, to piss them off._" He said, grinning at Genta's irritated expression.

"_I really don't see how that's worth the trouble._" She muttered back. Her accent really was odd. Something like British slapped through a Japanese blender. Though, he supposed his must be weird, too. Much as he'd hate to admit it, Genta was right. He'd been speaking solely Japanese for several years now, and the random phone calls from his parents' friends here and there didn't really constitute much practice. He just hoped he hadn't forgotten _too _many pronunciations…

"Hey! Don't start talking in English now! We believe you can do it, really!" Ayumi squeaked.

"_They wouldn't be able to overhear our conversations and ask us about annoying things anymore._" Conan pointed out. The kids were getting a bit indignant now. It was rather amusing to watch.

"_Point taken._"

"You _guys_!" Mitsuhiko whined, "I didn't mean I wanted you to prove yourselves! Just speak Japanese already!"

"_They really do get worked up about things quickly, don't they? _" Ai muttered. She quirked an eyebrow in interest as the children rapidly built upon their anxiety. Did it really bother them this much to be left out of things?

"They're probably saying mean things right in front of us!" Genta yelled. Conan, of course, took that as a direct invitation.

"_Genta is a big, loud kid who doesn't know when to keep his nose out of other people's business._" He grinned mischievously. Genta bristled.

"See? _See?_ I heard my name, he's talking about me! Conan you better not be saying I'm fat 'cause I'll beat your brains in! I will!"

"Genta, jeez! You _are_ fat!" Mitsuhiko said. Genta blinked down at him.

"You think I'm fat?" He muttered, crestfallen.

"Ahh… I mean.." The smaller boy stammered. Fortunately he was quickly saved by Ayumi.

"- but that's what makes you Genta! If you weren't eating all the time how would you be big and strong to protect us?" She gave him her cutest, prettiest look and was instantly forgiven by the furiously blushing boy. Mitsuhiko gave her a look like she had just saved his life.

Ai laughed quietly. "_Good save._" She indicated to the nervously giggling Ayumi. Conan grinned too, though mostly for the fact that Ai was actually playing along with his 'let's-speak-english' game. He didn't think she'd stand for such annoyances.

"_She's got the gift._"

"_A woman's touch._"

"_A bit like a few other girls I know. Eh, miss crybaby?_"

"_I only did that to throw off Megure's suspicions._"

"_Riiight…_"

"Man, won't you guys stop doing that?" Mitsuhiko frowned at his 'foreign' friends, both of whom paused in conversation and looked at him innocently. Who knew taunting small children could be so fun? "We didn't mean to say you forgot, really! You can go back now!"

"Conan-kun, use Japanese!" Ayumi whined, turning her cutest, most appealing face upon Conan now instead of Genta. Conan, however, had been around Sonoko far too long to let that work on him. He just grinned.

"_How long, do you think, until they try to beat us up?_" He asked. Ai smiled into her drink.

"_I think they can stand a few more minutes. Besides, studies show that exposing children to foreign languages at an early age can greatly improve their chances of success in later life._"

"_Awesome. We'll tell them we're doing them a favour once they can understand what the hell we're saying._"

"_Agreed._"

_---_

_Don't you find it a bit awkward to be talking about characters speaking foreign languages while writing in that language? It's always seemed a little ironic to me. Ah, well. No way to get around it I suppose._

_Two things to clarify:  
(1) In the manga Ai mentions a few times that her father was Japanese, and her mother was British. She also mentions in the 'Class 1-Bs Big Adventure' case that she remembers her papers being graded by the Japanese point system. Thus I have concluded that she spent some of her childhood in English schools, and some of it in Japanese ones. And we're going to go with that. So, here she's explaining about British uniforms while trying to pass it off as American, and Conan is just being an idiot.  
_

_(2) In chapter 18-8 Megure yells at Ai for shooting a gun at a suspect and she starts crying. That's what they're referencing when Conan calls her a crybaby.  
_

**_Next file: Pi-ta-go-ra Sui-cchi! (Yaaay!)  
_**


	6. Pitagora

_Really late because… I can be. Also AP classes are worse than death._

_You should be able to look up 'Algorithm Taiso' on YouTube. Watching the dance before you read this will make it a helluvalot funnier. _

* * *

**-File 6-  
Pitagora**  
_**In which children dance, and thieves are amused.**_

"Alright everybody! Ready? Okay!" The little girl threw her arms up in the air, then lowered them to her sides. The three boys behind her did the same, though the smallest looked mortified to be doing this.

"Ayumi-" Conan started, staring into the smirking face of Haibara Ai who had managed to seat herself smugly behind the camera. He'd tried to volunteer for camera duty too, but Ayumi wouldn't hear of it.

"Shhh! Conan-kun, we're starting!" The girl turned a harsh glare on him, and he shut up quickly. Best to just get this over with…

Ran was giggling. She'd offered to help the kids with their project on the grounds that it made an excellent distraction in the summer months. Sonoko, too, had offered her assistance. Though her motivation to do so had more to do with seeing Conan in an utterly mortifying situation than anything else.

"Alright, squirts! You guys remember the dance?" The faux-blonde yelled, hands on her hips in imitation of a stern director. The kids yelled their affirmation, and Conan mumbled something about stupid dances.

"Conan-kun! Stop being so negative!" Ran scolded. Conan balked. She was torturing him, wasn't she? Yes. Yes she was. This was horrible. He thought about appealing to Haibara again, but the sight of her still-smirking face behind the blinking record light of the camera gave him no hope of improving along his earlier treaties.

"_Sending in a dance to Pitagora? Well, you know how those people love to feature children. They'll probably get on it." The girl yawned, and turned back to her computer. She'd skipped school again today- preferring to feign sickness rather than sit in on the guest speaker scheduled for the second years._

"_Yeah, probably. I already told them I wouldn't do it. It'll be hell to get them to leave me alone about it though…"_

"_Told them you couldn't? Why ever not?" Haibara looked to him with feigned surprise, the seeds of a plan starting to form in her head._

"_Why-? What are you saying? I've already been on TV enough as it is! If I get on some kids show and an organisation member sees it-"_

"_They'll think that no teenager would ever agree to do such a thing, and write off Conan Edogawa as just a normal gradeschooler."_

"_What!? No! _Hell_ no. I am not doing that stupid-"_

"_Kudo-kun, you realise you're only strengthening my argument."_

"_Well then you have to do it too! If they see both of us-"_

"_If they see the both of us together they will draw conclusions. They know how I think. They'll know I'm trying to throw off suspicion. However if you alone are spotted amongst children, the ruse will work."_

"_Haibara! For god's sake, have you even seen-"_

"_Silence, Kudo. I expect you to contact Ayumi as soon as possible and volunteer yourself."_

"_Yeah, right!"_

As it happened, Ayumi had beaten Conan to it. She'd called Ran and asked for assistance in getting Conan's involvement, and in having the older girl help out with their dance. Ran had of course been a fan of Pitagora ever since her own gradeschool years, and agreed immediately. Conan was roped in for the ride.

The Algorithim Taiso theme song jerked him from his thoughts.

"ALGORITHIM TAISO!" Ayumi yelled. The boys echoed (reluctantly in Conan's case) and the dance began.

"_Kocchi muite futari de maenarae_  
Turn this way and reach both hands forward  
_Acchi muite futari de maenarae_  
Turn that way and reach both hands forward  
_Te o yoko ni, Ara abunai_  
Put your hands to the side- oh! That's dangerous.  
_Atama wo sagereba butsukarimasen_  
If you lower your head you'll be alright.  
_Te o yoko ni, Ara abunai_  
Put your hands to the side- oh! That's dangerous  
_Atama wo sagereba daijoubu_  
If you lower your head you'll be just fine.  
_Guruguruguru guruguruguru!_  
Round and round, round and round!  
_Guuru guru…_  
Round and round…  
_Guruguruguru guruguruguru!_  
Round and round, round and round!  
_Guuru guru…_  
Round and round…  
_Pacchin pacchin! Gashin gashin!_  
Clap clap! Bash bash!  
_Pacchin pacchin! Gashin gashin!_  
Clap clap! Bash bash!  
_Pacchin pacchin! Gashin gashin!_  
Clap clap! Bash bash!  
_Sutte haku no ga shinkokyuu_  
Take deep breaths.  
_Sutte haku no ga shinkokyuu._  
Take deep breaths."

That was it… The dance was finally over. Conan, face beet red, glared at a silently giggling Haibara leaning on the arm of an equally hysterical Sonoko. Ran, to her credit, had had the tact to at least turn the other direction before bursting into laughter. Unfortunately the kids didn't seem to have noticed at all.

"ALGORITHIM TAISO, OWARI!" Ayumi yelled. Once again the boys echoed her, Conan fighting to refrain from running forward and wringing Haibara's neck. The girl in question smirked and turned off the camera.

"Excellent recording. We'll send this to the television people as soon as possible." She said through a _very_ un-Haibara like grin. Ayumi and the other kids clapped and congratulated themselves excitedly.

"Not on my life you won't…" Conan growled. Haibara smiled to herself and removed the cassette for safekeeping. So knew damn well what Kudo was planning. They stared each other down, the sounds of children celebrating their dance blocked out by Conan's total determination to _destroy that damned tape…_

---

_**SOME WEEKS LATER…**_

Kaito flipped lazily through the channels, looking in vain for something to watch that didn't involve stupid cartoons or annoying talk show hosts. Suddenly, zooming past the kids' channel, a familiar face caught his eye. He quickly clicked back a few channels.

"_Today we have some very special mail-in guests! Please enjoy the SHONEN TANTEI, GUEST ALGORITHIM TAISO!"_

Kaito only got a good seconds' view of a certain detective's mortified face before he collapsed off the couch in hysterics. On the screen, a furiously-blushing 'tantei-kun' went through the motions of what was possibly the most ridiculous dance ever created.

The phantom theif grinned craftily to himself through his laughter. Next weeks' heist was going to be _hilarious..._

---

_**THE NEXT HEIST…**_

Conan balked. The huge screen covering the to-be-robbed museum's gates was currently having a _very_ familiar video projected onto it…

"And tonight's special mid-heist entertainment goes out to the tantei-kun! An excellent dancer, if I do say so myself!" The irritating, singsong voice of a certain theif rang out through the loudspeakers. Hundreds of Kid-fanatics, policemen, and random spectators turned to stare curiously at the murderous face of one small boy standing stock still by Mouri Kogoro's leg.

_"Kid… You are going to **pay** for this…"_

* * *

_For clarification: Pitagora Suicchi (Pythagorean Switch) is a kid's show in Tokyo. It's like a really hilarious, low-budget version of Sesame Street. The 'Arugorizumu Taiso' ("Algorithm Exercise") is a dance that the two hosts do, and often enlist various helpers of the community to help them with. (Bus drivers, milkmen, ninjas…) You should be able to find it pretty easily on thar intranet. If you haven't yet I suggest you do._

_Now review and tell me how late I am. :)_


End file.
